On the 18th of December 2017 my life changed forever. It all began in June 2017, halfway through my final year of High School. I started to struggle reading the whiteboard in class and need the teacher to enlarge the screen. I had never struggled with my eyesight before, however it runs in my family to need glasses, so I didn't think much of it at that stage. By September I was feeling constantly tired and fatigued. But I figured I was just run down from school? Exams were coming up and the pressure was on, I was stressed and most people were feeling the same way. I was so focused on school that the symptoms I started to show were oblivious to those around me. I started to have sleepless nights, I would need to go to the toilet multiple times throughout the night. I was drinking litres of liquids a day. I would drink things like fruit juice when I was thirsty, unknowingly making my thirst worse. My study became interrupted, I couldn't focus for more than an hour without needing a nap or a break. In October I started to lose weight, I didn't notice how drastic it was but in the space of two months I had lost almost 20 kilos which is significant even for someone whose goal is to lose weight, which was not mine. My symptoms were persistent, yet it wasn’t obvious to anyone what was going on. My attitude was always “I’ll just push through, it will pass”. I graduated and went on ‘Schoolies’ in Byron Bay with my friends. I didn’t have much energy, I spent most days lying by the pool and even stayed home from activities the group had planned. I didn't verbalise that I felt unwell, as it had been going on for so long I was used to it and didn't like to overreact. In the two weeks after I returned from schoolies I didn’t do a lot. The weekend before I was diagnosed was a busy one and I remember it like it was yesterday. I went to a class party on the Thursday night before our results were released. By this point I couldn't go five minutes without a drink otherwise my mouth would be so dry I couldn't even talk. The next day results were released and it was an emotional day, that night I had swimming time trials with my club. I could barely make it through a lap, I pulled out of my events and remembered that it was better to be in the water than out because my mouth was so incredibly dry. People started to comment on my weight loss. I had started to notice a change in my appearance too. I looked pale, which was unusual for me as I am often tanned and have naturally olive skin. Sunday was my sister's birthday. We went out for brunch and in the space of an hour I drank two whole jugs of table water at the cafe. At a christmas party on the same day I had to sit out of all the activities as my body was physically starting to not function anymore. I felt helpless and other people could see it too. Monday morning was the day. I decided it was finally time for mum to take me to the doctor to see what was wrong with me. My expectations were low. I felt like I was overreacting and that they would say i'm just overworked and stressed and will be fine in a few weeks. We had to wait at the bulk billing doctor for around an hour. I remember the lady waiting next to us was a spiritual reader or something like that. She spoke to us at one point and said that she was getting a strong vibe from me that I was really unwell and something was wrong. I remember feeling like I was about to pass out in the waiting room. We finally got in, and we got the best doctor (in my opinion) in the whole clinic. I mentioned my symptoms and a brief rundown of the last few months and straight away he said there were two potential things wrong. We didn't even make it to the second option as a quick BGL test determined that my situation was now considered an emergency, and had been for a significant length of time. A reading of 31 suggested that I was potentially a diabetic and the only place for me to go was directly to emergency. So off I went. I was buzzing. I had no idea what was wrong with me but between finally having a cause for why I'd felt so shit for so long and the excitement of going to hospital, I had never been to hospital for anything before, I've never even broken a bone. I was a weird mix of excited and nervous. I also did not understand what it was going to mean being a diabetic. I had very little education about the different types of diabetes. My Nan has Type 2 and a boy in my class at school and his sister had Type 1. But I didn't really know what each entailed and what it would mean for my health. I called my dad and he met us in the hospital. When I arrived they treated me very quickly in triage, again they knew how much of an emergency my situation was, I did not. I got a bed and was told to get into a gown and get ready for some tests. I was laughing away and confused as to what was going on, would I just be here for an hour or so to get some tests or would I have to stay? The nurses who treated me in emergency were incredible. They were very aware of my situation and calmed me and my parents very well. I had two IVs, one on each arm. One provided me with fluids and one for my blood tests which were taken every 30 minutes, then every hour, then ever two hours. No one really confirmed or denied my diagnosis. There were alot of big words floating around like Endocrinologist, Ketoacidosis, Ketone levels ect. I had no idea what was going on. My ketones were 7.5. They are meant to be 0 or 0.1. Anything over 3 is bad and 7.5 should have had me in a coma. This scared me. After a while it started to set in just how serious my situation was. This was not a short term problem. It had become something I was going to have to deal with for the rest of my life. I met the endocrinologist after being in hospital for around 7 hours. There was a strong push from all medical staff that I be admitted and stay a few days to be educated and get better. I now know that that is what most people do and would have been the smartest idea. I'm stubborn and decided I didn't want to be in the hospital anymore. The novelty had well and truly worn off. I wanted to go to my family dinner that was planned for that night for my sister's birthday. The endocrinologist told me he didn't want me to have to stay in the hospital overnight. He *barely* deemed me well enough to go home for the night. I was given a crash course on how to use an insulin pen and the needle, and was given some long lasting insulin to get me through to the next day. I hadn't even learned how to test my bgls on a meter yet but I was allowed to go home under the condition that I return for education to begin the next morning. The next morning I met Leanne. In my first few months Leanne was my angel. She helped me with so much and taught me everything I needed to know. I am not even going to begin to explain how bad my experiences with Endocrinologist’s have been, that's a story for another day. I had a few days of education and had to go back frequently for check-ins. It had begun. The idea of crab counting, blood testing, injecting myself 4-6 times a day, learning the difference between long lasting insulin and quick acting, how quick was it, what can I eat and what can’t I eat? How exercise affects my levels, how the weather or my mood affects my levels. My eyesight was continually affected. What is a pump? What does a CGM do? I still had so much to learn and the never ending control over so many things had begun and I can't remember life without all these things anymore. The strangest and most impressive thing is, I've been a different, better, more motivated, grateful, optimistic, stronger person ever since that day. I had to make so many changes to my life but the best changes weren't the physical changes, they were the mental and emotional changes that came from such a big event in my life that have truly made me a better person today. I am so so so proud of what I have accomplished to date and I can thank the journey I have been on since the 18th of December 2017 for the person I am and that I will continue to be. I have done so much growth as an individual and can honestly say that without this challenge life threw me, I don't know if I would be the same person I am now.
Diabetes absolutely sucks, it's shit and there are no physical positives to this long term condition, however I have learnt that it's all about finding the other positives within the shit situations that help to overcome challenges and the hard times. Everyday is different, but that’s life, and my life now involves management and control of diabetes. But diabetes doesn't control me, nor does it define me.
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